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“Money, it’s a crime. Share it fairly but don’t take a slice of my pie. Money, so they say is the root of all evil today.” -Pink Floyd said it best ladies and gentleman. No wonder they are one of my favorite bands. 🙂
You know what I love about money? The fact that it’s green, my favorite color. Actually, wait… I don’t even think I can say that anymore. A lot of our money is changing. We are following the footsteps of our brothers and sisters across the ocean. Countries like England, China, Switzerland and our neighbors down south, Venezuela. Our very own currency is changing to look more picturesque than ever.
Other than color and the pretty pictures on money now, I don’t really find too much more happiness in it. See, here is the deal: If you’re rich, like, so rich you don’t even look at price tags when you shop, money becomes like air. It’s something you know you need, but it’s almost endless to you and therefore, you take it for granted. For example, let’s use someone who is super rich. Hmmm, let me think. Let’s use a celebrity for this example, therefore hopefully everyone will know who I’m referring to. I pick Taylor Swift. Why? I’m not sure. I do like her music, but she bugs me with her “I’m such a victim to every guy” attitude on life.
According to Forbes.com, Miss Swift has a net worth of 55 million dollars. Yup, Taylor and all she owns is worth 55 million dollars. That’s $55,000,000.00!! And her net worth goes up every year. Do you know how much my net worth is? Let’s see. We rent, I still owe money on my car, I think I may have $500 in some sort of 401K plan left over from the military, but I also owe a shit ton of money to a bank for student loans. So my net worth is about -$40,000.00!! Yup, negative! To have $55 million dollars would more than likely cause me to have a stroke. What would I even do with that money?
Let’s break it down, shall we: You have 55 million dollars. Say you buy a gorgeous mansion.
You’ve got the funds, let’s go balls to the walls here- you purchase an 8.5 million dollar home. You pay for it in cash. But what are the taxes on something like that? For the state of Virginia, according to fairfaxcounty.gov and my understanding of the breakdown, you pay in taxes about $1.08 for every $100.00 the house it worth. Not sure how correct I am, but let’s just go with it. So that’s about 1% right? 1% of 8.5 million dollars is $85,000.00. That’s STILL more than I make in a year. Then you want to buy a car. My favorite car has always been a classic Jaguar Roadster, 1967 to be exact. Let’s see if we can find one for sale in real time, not 1967 time.
I found a car with 2,684 miles on it, costing only $100,000.00!! Let’s say there is an average of 4% tax on this car, that would mean you would still have to pay an additional $4,000 on top of your already one hundred thousand. You’re going to need a practical car though too, right? Let’s look for one of those, shall we? If your net worth is 55 million dollars, you don’t just go to Toyota.. you go to Mercedes. A Mercedes M-class SUV, ML63 AMG, will cost you approx. $98,175.
So, pretty much the same as the classic. Add another 4% for tax- $3,927. You’re going to need a phone, because everyone does. You get the best of the best. The latest Apple iPhone. What are we up to now? 5s. The gold one please. Again, because you’re worth 55m, you’re going to get the most GBs. The iPhone 5s with 64 GB is only a low price of $399. Don’t forget, you need a plan to go with that super awesome cool phone of yours. The average person, me, has what I hope is a basic plan. My carrier is VW and I have the 3GB plan, which is $60 a month. But VW has a plan that goes all the way up to 50GB and it’s $375 (+ the $40 a month JUST to use the iPhone) = $415.
So we’ve got your house, your 2 cars and your phone. All of this for only…. *drumroll please*……. $8,791,916! Leaving you with: $46,208,084. You can get whatever the hell you want with that. Designer decor for your swanky home, new clothes, food, gas, trips all around the world, utilities, etc. Of course money becomes like air. Why would you need to look at price tags? And Taylor Swift isn’t even in the top 5 of the richest celebrities!
Now let’s do a break down of someone like me. I make $1400 a month. (This is after taxes, health insurance and some retirement fund that FCPS forced me to be in). I pay $400 a month for my car. $100 a month for my cell phone. $300 a month to the bank for my personal student loans. $50 a month for my federal student loans. An average of $40 a week for gas x 4= $160. Leaving me with $390. (Notice how there is no grocery list involved) My husband makes an average of 2800 a month. Thank God for that. He pretty much pays for everything else. We b a r e l y get by.
Finally, let’s look at someone who is considered “low income.”
Because even though Adam and I eat PB&J a lot, we still make TOO much money and don’t qualify for ANY help. But we live in Fairfax County, the THIRD richest county in the nation- an average of $107,096 income per home! HA HA HA!!! Adam and I don’t even make half of that TOGETHER!! For FFX county, we are the poor- but somehow, we’ve been getting by. Someone with low income would make EVEN less than us. Maybe 25K a year. What does 25 thousand dollars a year get you in the state of Virginia? According to benefits.gov, you are entitled, but not guaranteed the following:
Child care
Disability
Education
Employment assistance
Energy assistance (discounted or free gas for home)
Food
Grants
Healthcare -THIS IS A BIG BAD ISSUE FOR ME.. but for another day! 🙂
Housing
Insurance
Loan Replacement -where is my LR. I owe $40k for student loans and I make $1400 a month.
How is this all fair?? Taylor Swift gets paid to sing and travel the world, sit in a couple meetings a month, put out an album every 1-2 years and endorse some products, making 55 million dollars. (Granted, she sacrificed her privacy) Someone who (stereotypically) works only part time, (stereotypically) has more kids than they can afford, (stereotypically) doesn’t even try, gets offered help with housing, has a full refrigerator ALL month long, and the latest cell phone (stereotypically). Then there is me (us)- the average, hard working American, working 40-50 hour weeks, sometimes working two jobs (BEEN THERE), living off raman noodles, trying desperately to start a savings with what little we have left every month.
So this is why I hate money…. when you’re rich, you get more. When you’re poor, you get more. But when your middle class, you get fucked! It’s like, you’re not as smart as your older brother, but you’re not as cute as your little sister, so you just sort of get forgotten about. You get by, you have your moments of glory, you have your occasional episodes where you feel rich and on top of the world, but it quickly fades when you’re slapped with another bill, or unexpected expense or an illness- and the government adds insult to injury by saying “Sorry, you’re not rich enough to stand on your own, but your too rich for our help.”
Now let me add a disclaimer before I get my ass chewed out. I understand that there are people who worked their butts off and became rich, rightfully so. I also understand that there are people who worked hard their whole lives and perhaps get hurt on the job or had a family member taken down by illness and therefore needed government help. I am more focused on the rich for no good reason celebrities (like Kim Kardashian.. whom I secretly love to watch) and the lazy, abusive trash (stereotypical again) who sits on their ass getting fat and watching television, while collecting a paycheck and eating three course meals 4x a week.
Money has lost it’s value. It used to be “a hard day’s work for a hard day’s pay” but now it’s, “a hard day’s work for half of your hard day’s pay, while it goes to the family down the street with nicer furniture than yours!”
Cette Fille Jenny 